To Begin Again and Again..

Hello Again!
Way back when I first started this blog, I shared with you my difficulty in keeping regular with my writing! Now you can see, I wasn't kidding!
Here's the thing, I've really missed it- again! In fact it has been gnawing at me a lot lately. So, with a heart felt apology I say- I am sorry, and I vow to begin again, after all, isn't that the best that any of us can do?
Begin again!

Steve The Snake

Steve The Snake, as the story was related to me;

It happened one cool spring morning. My husband Scott was doing some masonry work at his brothers house. He was down by a shed about to return some tools when the encounter took place. Just as he was walking inside the shed he looked up and right there at eye level staring him strait in the face was a snake. He was so startled that he reacted by swinging the shovel he had in his hand and cutting off the snakes head in the process. Scott, relieved to have rid the world of this nuisance beast went about his day just a little bit happier.
Later Scott's brother Keith returned home from work and they were talking when Scott decided to tell him about the snake and so he started " there was this snake down here today.." when Keith interrupted him with a jubilant smile "Oh, so you met Steve"? Scott said, "Steve"? Feeling anxiety begin creeping it's way inside of him. "Yeah" said Keith excitedly "Steve the snake, he's my buddy, he lives down by the shed, I see him all the time, so you met him"?

Scott feeling totally confused and a bit sick at this point answered in the only way he could, "yeah I met him" and left it at that.

So it goes, the story of Steve the snake. Friend or foe? I leave the moral interpretation open, for it is a highly subjective matter. One thing is certainly clear though, you never know who it is that you are meeting.

The Question Of The Day Is...

Are moods contagious?
I have to say, yes they are! I know I'd much rather catch a good one than a bad one any day! What kind of mood am I spreading around? How about you?
So much of this mood stuff seems to be done on auto pilot though I'm not so sure it's suppose to be that way! I seem to just sort of float through my day spreading or being victim to peoples mood of the moment! This really should stop! Moods are way too unpredictable to leave to chance.
Enter awareness, presence, clarity. So they aren't just lofty ideals, that the average person has little hope of attaining, but something to aspire to and with good reason... to save our sanity!
I have been on an emotional roller coaster for much of my life and I have to tell you, it has taken a toll on me and often times on those around me. The notion that I can exercise control over my moods and my emotions is like a ray of sunshine if I let myself believe it. I also tend to believe that it is a skill that will require much practice.
It is my hope that we all will learn to be even just a little more aware of the effect our moods have on ourselves and others, that way when we ask ourselves the question, what kind of mood am I spreading around today we can all answer; A good one, of course!

The Wall

I sit down to write but the words won't come. Why? My best guess is I'm guilty of self censorship and for me, as soon as I begin to censor myself creativity shuts down. I wonder why I'm compelled to do this. The thing is I don't only do it when I'm writing. Questioning myself has become second nature. Did I say the wrong thing, is what I'm wearing Ok. I wonder if "they" really liked me and the list goes on and on. It's mind numbing. Here is a thought, I am largely self absorbed. My thought patterns tend to go round and round in my head and they are primarily concerned with me! Uugggg!!
It's not that I set out to think this way. I'd really like be less concerned with my own thoughts and behavior and more focused on making a difference. What stops me? I stop me? How do you change? I'm afraid that the answer may be a simple one. Find a good cause and refocus my energy? If the answer is truly that simple, why do I have such a difficult time doing it? It's so easy to look back over my life and point fingers. This person did me wrong and caused me to do wrong. If only "that" wouldn't have happened I might have been different. If only I had more money then I'd be able to focus more on "positive" things. Do you know what all this is doing to me? For one thing, it's keeping me stuck in pain and it's creating an underlying fear that I'm wrong. Maybe there is a part of me that knows the truth is simple and the power to be whatever I most deeply desire has always been inside of me but then if that is true then it is my fault that I am who I am and not the person I want to be, yet something in that statement doesn't feel right.. I am who I am period, and it's my behaviors that are holding me back? My habits, my thought processes, my actions or lack of them but I am not my habits and I am not my thoughts even though it seems that I am. I pray that I can sort it out. I pray that I can change. I pray that I can make a difference. Thank-you in advance for taking the time to read this.
If you have any insights that you care to share, please do.

Through The Eyes Of Ignorance

It's all over the news these days, Susan Boyal, the Scottish woman who wowed the world and the judges with her amazing voice when she sang on Britains Got Talent. What a beautiful soul this woman has. She is so humble and wise when I hear her speak in her interviews and so forgiving of a world where people are so shallow as to boo and poke fun at her when she walked out on stage because she didn't fit into our stereotypes of what a woman should look like! What about how people should treat other people? It amazes me that an audience would be so cruel and ignorant. These are adult people who should know better! Oh well, I guess all is forgotten because they did embrace her after she opened her mouth and sang like an angel. We should all be ashamed of ourselves, that we live in a society that supports this type of judgement and treatment of others.
I hope the day will come when we truly understand it is not what is on the outside of a person that makes them who they are and beauty comes in many different forms.

A New Path

I'm really excited about writing again. I used to love it so much and then I got away from it. I can't really even say why. It's one of those things that just happened and I didn't know how much I missed it or what it meant to me until now. It's a release. Funny thing is I noticed that my mind has cleared some what since I started this blog, some of the mental fog I have has lifted. That is a beautiful thing!
I've never been good at the write something everyday thing, but again as of lately I feel compelled to do just that and I always feel better once I have written. I'm trying to get the "stuff" out of me both good and bad. Just let it out! Honestly, I can't carry all of it with me anymore and so for me writing has been a God send, a blessing for which I am grateful.

A Question Of Hope

Today I'm thinking about hope. What it is, what it means, and most importantly, if I truly possess it. I'd sure like to believe I have it. I have hope. It's almost like a mantra, a ready made answer to lifes difficult questions.
Webster defines it as," to cherish a desire with anticipation". Hmmm. In my own words then, to love and expect. So if I were to say I have hope for the future what I mean is I have a love of life and great expectations. Wow, I like the sound of that and armed with that particular knowledge I'm afraid to say I'm guilty of throwing the phrase around far too often without owning it's true and powerful meaning.
The next time I hear myself saying I hope so, I'll be sure to ask myself,
do you really?