The Question Of The Day Is...

Are moods contagious?
I have to say, yes they are! I know I'd much rather catch a good one than a bad one any day! What kind of mood am I spreading around? How about you?
So much of this mood stuff seems to be done on auto pilot though I'm not so sure it's suppose to be that way! I seem to just sort of float through my day spreading or being victim to peoples mood of the moment! This really should stop! Moods are way too unpredictable to leave to chance.
Enter awareness, presence, clarity. So they aren't just lofty ideals, that the average person has little hope of attaining, but something to aspire to and with good reason... to save our sanity!
I have been on an emotional roller coaster for much of my life and I have to tell you, it has taken a toll on me and often times on those around me. The notion that I can exercise control over my moods and my emotions is like a ray of sunshine if I let myself believe it. I also tend to believe that it is a skill that will require much practice.
It is my hope that we all will learn to be even just a little more aware of the effect our moods have on ourselves and others, that way when we ask ourselves the question, what kind of mood am I spreading around today we can all answer; A good one, of course!

The Wall

I sit down to write but the words won't come. Why? My best guess is I'm guilty of self censorship and for me, as soon as I begin to censor myself creativity shuts down. I wonder why I'm compelled to do this. The thing is I don't only do it when I'm writing. Questioning myself has become second nature. Did I say the wrong thing, is what I'm wearing Ok. I wonder if "they" really liked me and the list goes on and on. It's mind numbing. Here is a thought, I am largely self absorbed. My thought patterns tend to go round and round in my head and they are primarily concerned with me! Uugggg!!
It's not that I set out to think this way. I'd really like be less concerned with my own thoughts and behavior and more focused on making a difference. What stops me? I stop me? How do you change? I'm afraid that the answer may be a simple one. Find a good cause and refocus my energy? If the answer is truly that simple, why do I have such a difficult time doing it? It's so easy to look back over my life and point fingers. This person did me wrong and caused me to do wrong. If only "that" wouldn't have happened I might have been different. If only I had more money then I'd be able to focus more on "positive" things. Do you know what all this is doing to me? For one thing, it's keeping me stuck in pain and it's creating an underlying fear that I'm wrong. Maybe there is a part of me that knows the truth is simple and the power to be whatever I most deeply desire has always been inside of me but then if that is true then it is my fault that I am who I am and not the person I want to be, yet something in that statement doesn't feel right.. I am who I am period, and it's my behaviors that are holding me back? My habits, my thought processes, my actions or lack of them but I am not my habits and I am not my thoughts even though it seems that I am. I pray that I can sort it out. I pray that I can change. I pray that I can make a difference. Thank-you in advance for taking the time to read this.
If you have any insights that you care to share, please do.

Through The Eyes Of Ignorance

It's all over the news these days, Susan Boyal, the Scottish woman who wowed the world and the judges with her amazing voice when she sang on Britains Got Talent. What a beautiful soul this woman has. She is so humble and wise when I hear her speak in her interviews and so forgiving of a world where people are so shallow as to boo and poke fun at her when she walked out on stage because she didn't fit into our stereotypes of what a woman should look like! What about how people should treat other people? It amazes me that an audience would be so cruel and ignorant. These are adult people who should know better! Oh well, I guess all is forgotten because they did embrace her after she opened her mouth and sang like an angel. We should all be ashamed of ourselves, that we live in a society that supports this type of judgement and treatment of others.
I hope the day will come when we truly understand it is not what is on the outside of a person that makes them who they are and beauty comes in many different forms.

A New Path

I'm really excited about writing again. I used to love it so much and then I got away from it. I can't really even say why. It's one of those things that just happened and I didn't know how much I missed it or what it meant to me until now. It's a release. Funny thing is I noticed that my mind has cleared some what since I started this blog, some of the mental fog I have has lifted. That is a beautiful thing!
I've never been good at the write something everyday thing, but again as of lately I feel compelled to do just that and I always feel better once I have written. I'm trying to get the "stuff" out of me both good and bad. Just let it out! Honestly, I can't carry all of it with me anymore and so for me writing has been a God send, a blessing for which I am grateful.

A Question Of Hope

Today I'm thinking about hope. What it is, what it means, and most importantly, if I truly possess it. I'd sure like to believe I have it. I have hope. It's almost like a mantra, a ready made answer to lifes difficult questions.
Webster defines it as," to cherish a desire with anticipation". Hmmm. In my own words then, to love and expect. So if I were to say I have hope for the future what I mean is I have a love of life and great expectations. Wow, I like the sound of that and armed with that particular knowledge I'm afraid to say I'm guilty of throwing the phrase around far too often without owning it's true and powerful meaning.
The next time I hear myself saying I hope so, I'll be sure to ask myself,
do you really?

Crossroads

Everyone has them, points in their lives where their faced with a decision that has the ability to take them in a different direction, depending on their choice.
Sometimes we aren't even aware that we're at one. I wonder what would have happened in my life if I had made different choices. Oh, but that is not energy well spent, is it? Better to use your powers to set goals and move yourself in a desired direction then to lament about what might have been. It can be quite the guilty pleasure though especially if you let your imagination take you on a road that you know is impractical if not impossible to travel in "real life." Some might say if you are traveling roads in your heart that you aren't traveling outwardly that your integrity is compromised. Is it? I guess that depends on the road and the reason. Much debate could be leveled in any direction. Crossroads, are you at one?

Invocation Of Souls

I stand alone, naked, cold and hungry
Looking out over barren lands and starless skies
Only the moon looms overhead
I wait...
Suddenly you are there, standing before me
born of earth sand and moonlight
I gaze into your eyes intrigued, captivated, then startled...
I see my entire life past, present and future reflected in your eyes
Raw emotion runs through me like ocean waves pounding on the shore
I try to move, an invisible force holds me
You reach out your hand
We touch...
The cold turns to heat as fire burns through my body
Embracing
We fall to the ground
Winds begin to dance circles around our bodies
Wolves howl in the distance
Screams of passion echo into the night
As desire comes to claim what it owns
Silence...
It is the dawn of a new day

(This is a poem I wrote several years ago. I stuck it in drawer and it was almost lost forever, but thanks to a fellow writer, I dug it out and here it is.) Alison

The Shell, The Egg White And The Yolk

Layers.
Like my good friend the egg, I believe we are all layered. We have our tough outer shell (at least we hope it's tough, tough enough to cope..), our "white" or the part of us that we try and share with the world, to the degree that we are able to. Lastly we all have our yolks, the deepest most guarded part of our beings, the place where all things sacred and dear as well as all our scary demons reside.
What kind of egg are you today? Sunny side up, hard boiled, soft boiled or are you a scrambled egg? Think about it!

A Honey Of A Bun

HoneyBunz is our dog. She's a good dog. She has a lazy eye and her hips are failing her but her heart is made of gold. If she can just sleep with one of us under the covers she is happy. I admire the way HoneyBunz unconditionally loves us and the way it takes so little to make her content. I wonder what magic ingredient is woven into the spirit of animals that makes them so wise. They do seem to possess a certain wisdom that humans lack. Maybe the animal kingdom is here to be a model for us. They are the teachers and if we can learn from them, maybe the world would be a better place.

The Sky Is The Limit and Hell Is Just The Other Direction..

It would be so nice if every day was an up day. Today, for example, I feel down in the dumps. There is no reason for me to feel this way but I do. My energy is low and my outlook is poor yet I know nothing has changed. I do feel overwhelmed. I have 3 kids under 12, a house full of clutter and too much free time on my hands!! Some days it all just seems too much. You know, I am grateful for the blessings I have but I would be a liar if I didn't say that I sometimes I feel like I've lost myself in my life. My self worth rides on my ability to clean and conquer clutter!! While I know this is not true, it doesn't matter because that is how it feels so in a sense it is true. Moody, that is one character trait I wish I could lose...

A Light In The Dark

OK, so here I am and I am so excited about this new "adventure"- this blog. A place that I can write down whatever it is that's on my mind and share it with whoever may care to read it but it's also kind of scary too. I have a real tendency to begin projects with a lot of zeal only to let them fall by the wayside. That seems to be a very real theme in my life and then I feel guilty because it's just another "thing" I didn't finish..
Like so many people, I'm trying to find my passion and let's face it, I'm not getting any younger here. Writing has always been something that I love to do and this blog is a way to give expression to that love. My hope is that this will evolve into something that has benefits for the people who choose to visit.
Please leave your comments, I'd love to hear any suggestions for what you would like to see in a blog and I will do my best to make this a place you enjoy visiting.

P.S. I dedicate this post to all of you who are still searching for your passion, and for those of you who have found yours, any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated.

Well Naturally....

Natural Talent.. Do you believe in it, does it exist? I think it does.
I was watching one of my favorite television shows; American Idol! Yes I'm a fan. The point I'm trying to make is some of the contestants clearly have more natural ability than others. I've often heard, we're all gifted in some area. Finding out or maybe a better word is discovering what your gift is seems to be the challenge for me anyway. Some people seem to just know..
Do you know or are you on a journey of discovery?

Just A Shadow of Myself

Part of the reason I want to do this, "blog", is because I feel like I am just a shadow of my self, or is it my former self? Whatever it is I am just a shadow of it, at least that is how I feel most of the time.
I'm sure you can relate, how many of us feel at peak form all the time? And the one's who tell you they do, well their honesty is maybe a bit in question, even if it's just their honestly with themselves... Hey I have a big problem at times with being honest with myself!!!

Greetings!

Hi!
I'm Alison, For the purpose of this blog, you can call me Ally. I'm really not sure what I'm doing here.. this is all new to me. I spent my morning trying to get a crash education on blogging. Most of the material I read was over my head, from what I did gather, blogging is just something you do, sort of like journaling so I am going to give it a shot. I must warn you, I don't have any specific content in mind. I just plan to write whatever comes into my head, if it should develop into something more, great. If not, Oh well!! The real point is to get stuff off my chest and to hear what you guys are thinking about, so please feel free to comment often. One sided conversations and opinions just aren't fun!
That's What She Said. Ally